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The Seven Bad Habits of Highly Ineffective Church Bulletins

Introduction

Modern technology enables churches to produce bulletins much faster than in the days of typewriters and white out.  Yet I am not so sure the quality is any better.  How can churches continue to produce low-quality bulletins?  It is easy—continue to apply the seven bad habits of highly ineffective church bulletins. 
Habit One:  The law of all caps
USE ALL CAPS ALL OVER THE BULLETIN.  IT WILL SLOW READING SPEED BY 14-20 PERCENT AND IRRITATE FIRST-TIME VISITORS.
Habit Two: The Law of the Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Font
Use a small font, preferably smaller than size 10.  This will cause senior saints to shout, but they won’t be saying “Glory!”  Do this only if you intend to issue magnifying glasses with your bulletin.
Habit Three: The Law of Centering
Center all text.
This makes the information
harder to read than left-justified text.  Really, you should use centered text only for emphasis and place a box around it.  When writing the bulletin, this is one time in life when a Christian should stay to the left.

Habit Four:  The Law of Cursive

 Use a cursive font.  As parishioners try to read the text, they will groan loudly but not in the Spirit—they might even curse!  Use script and italics only for items you really do not want people to read, such as the pastor's home telephone number.  This font works only for Wedding Invitations, which are supposed to be hard to read!
Habit Five: The Law of Full Justification (Or the one time when justification is not good!)
Use full justification.  It aligns the right and left margins, but the proportional spacing between the words is generally not pleasing to the to the eye or useful for gaining wisdom.  It also makes the bulletin harder to read. 
Habit Six: The Law of the Moving Target
Move the regular bulletin information around each week.  If you do this, you will keep people guessing where to find the upcoming events, the weekly prayer list, important phone numbers, and how to give the annual pastor's appreciation offering.
Habit Seven: The Law of Variety, the Anti-Spice of Bulletin Life
Use several different fonts and heading styles throughout the bulletin—Why, you can even throw in the Pooh font for variety!  
Result
This could cause the congregation to spontaneously sing, "Come Thou Font of Every Blessing," expressing their heartfelt desire to see only one font in their beloved bulletin.  In the worst case scenario, it could cause a church split. 
Conclusion
A bulletin can be a wonderful communication tool for a local church.  Unfortunately, it can also reflect poorly on a congregation.  How many of the seven bad habits does your church bulletin have each week?
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